They are purple.

This poem. I wrote it a while ago. Like end of March 2010 a while ago. Thought about it today. Thought I'd share it. Edited it a little. Huggles.

Think Before You Act

From the dim glow behind her
You see her ebony silhouette
Her hair tied high in the air
An image you can't forget

Inside her mind was a false past
Dripping in her salt crusted tears
Not satisfied with any part of herself
Wishing she could rewind time by the years

Her hands by her sides
Drenched in pain from her thoughts
She could learn no lessons from others
For her life could only be self-taught

She looked low toward the ground
Knowing the direction she had to go
She knew what she had to do
But she had to be willing to grow

She regrets all the lies
That she could never explain why she said them
She never really knew herself
And why she craved all the attention

She didn't know what to say anymore
She truly could not explain
Did they love her enough to understand?
Or would they only see what she became?

Many times she broke promises to herself
All saying the same thing
To never lie again
But the more it slipped without thinking


Although she tried not to
She had more lies to say
To cover the ones from before
More and more each day

To much she had taken
Beaten deep within her soul
Memories she couldn't erase
Time was taking it's toll

Her time here had ended
She knew it was too late
Now, the end had come
And she reached the pearly gate

So many things she had to confess
But too soon she slipped away
Now they were all there
It was long past due, she truly had to say

Before she could even start
There were tears streaming down her face
It was the hardest to say them now
Because her image she had disgraced

So much she had to say
But there was more to be heard
She didn't know where to begin
All the lies, so absurd

She chocked out all the words
Explaining the lie she was living
All of them frowned in disappointment
But unexpectedly, they were forgiving

For they explained themselves
That they had more sins to compare
She couldn't believe what she was hearing
Even these... they wouldn't dare

Worse things then one could imagine
The things the others said
They all should of said them earlier
Instead of having that moment to dread

We all make mistakes
And although you may think there is no repair
There is another way around
Don't live that moment of despair

------------

Christmas was alright. I wasn't too excited. I was more excited about what I had gotten for my siblings. But come Tuesday, I will be headed on a train to my nephew's house in Elko. I'm more excited for that than Christmas. So I'd thought I'd do something today because I know I wont be able to get online Tuesday. Hope you all enjoyed the holidays and continue to do so. I'll probably have one more post before this long year is over. But if not; party hard, loves.

triple o's
-Emi

Apologies and second glances

I apologize that due to this post, I have now posted three days in a row. It's quite rude to say that I will try not to post as much and bore you with it's ordeals, but at least you're still here and don't hate me.
Good news! The fact that I actually go around and tell people about this almost non-existent thing, I have 5 followers....! I know, one of them is me as you can see, but I love my blog. It's beautiful. Well, I think it is. Judge me, or judge me not, I do what I will and you can't make me do or think otherwise. Ha! I indeed have control. Now deal your cards.

Now for the real reason that I have put up, as I die saying these words, a third post this week....
http://therandomramblingsofmm.blogspot.com/
That should speak for itself. Although, I will give a translation for those of you who don't speak Braille.
This is the blog of the amazing, humorous, and charming, Ms. MM. MM stands for awesome of course. Idiots. So, go check it out. Hopefully it will keep you amused as opposed to this boring, deadful, and deadly, post. Deadly? Deadly you ask? Well, because obviously, posts will spread my notarealinfectionitis. I know you knew that. It's common sense. Yet you continue to risk your life. And you accuse my false doings of calling you idiots? Well.... It just might be true. Actually, you know what? If someone else said this, I probably wouldn't have thought it the spreading notarealinfectionitis. I apologize. For a second time now. And a third for calling you idiots. My readers are not idiots. They are glorious for finding, FOLLOWING COUGH COUGH COUGH, and continuing their interest in a senseless blog like this. Congratulations. You're no longer square. For you are rectangular. Not a square rectangle, but an actual rectangle rectangle. Which all in all means you continue to read these practically senseless and pointless words. Yay for rectangles!! I'm the purple kind by the way. Just letting you all know. Idiots.

-Emi

P.s. http://therandomramblingsofmm.blogspot.com/ Do it.

...Is This Real Enough?

Well, I have a few things to share. Not about life persay, but about my imagination and it's contents.
 First off, I have a confession to make. Today I had a bloody nose. Yes, yes. It bled. And bled. And bled. And I'm infected with notarealinfectionitis. I know. It's scary and deadly. But in fact, while said nose was bleeding, it dripped onto page 191 of my English book as I was finishing up an assignment. I set the book down, pinched my nose, and ran across the hallway into my room to grab a kleenex or 5. It was honestly a long nose bleed. And also, as my nose bleeds always do, blood came from my mouth. During the whole adventure, at one point the blood from my mouth embarked onto my pale, slightly chapped lips. As I was about to wipe it off I had to stare in the mirror that I had been facing for a moment. I really was looking like a vampire, and not only that but it all looked like.... a twisted and haunting beauty. I went to cleanse my face and was still thinking about it's disgusting beauty from earlier wishing that I had gotten a picture of it. After my face had no sign of gore, I went back to my sitting place and stared at my English book as an idea was swirling in my head. I grabbed the Canon EOS digital rebel xti that was sitting on the computer desk from earlier along with the English book that was still open and went back into my room. Although, by the time I'd finished cleaning up, the blood on my English book had more or less stiffened to the point that if I tried to wipe it off, it would only rip the weak pages. I didn't have time to be disappointed about that. I didn't even think much about it. As I went into my room, I quickly painted the nails my right hand with a black coat of polish and created my idea. I dimmed the lights and went to work. Afterward, as horrific as it looked, I loved it. Here are my favorites or the results.

Remember how I said that I had a few things to share? Well, number 2. My blog title. I had three people specifically asked why I named this blog "Under the Mask". I thought it should have been self explanatory, but I guess not. You see, most people know me as someone I'm not. I have my secrets and hidden interests and numerous other things pertaining to the sort. This is mainly to let it out, and for you to view under my mask that hides my sorrows and the things pertaining to it. I mean, I'm not saying my smiles are fake, my laughter is a myth, or that my happiness is transparent, but as a human being, there's more pain then you may realize. There are a few fake smiles here and there. And I'm letting you know exactly what they might be. Even at that, I'm probably saying this all wrong. This is just showing what I want, my goals, what I want to accomplish, and the person who is truly hiding under a facade. This probably doesn't sound like my posts at all, but slowly but surly, I hope to open up.

Now, onto other things that do not pertain to my complex mind. Tonight is the YW Christmas party. I'm rather exited for it because they have been good to me in the past. We're exchanging white elephant gifts, eating food (hopefully. I like food and hope it's there), and enjoying each others company. For my white elephant gift, I have some Hello Kitty silly bandz, the album Thankful (Kelly Clarkson (You see, I used to like that sort of music, but not anymore and they're just sitting there.), a light blue sock (singular) with unicorns on it, and cherry (unopened of course) chap stick. I don't like cherry anyway and have plenty of other chap sticks. I'm excited to see what I am to get.

Unfortunately, the flight my mother was hoping to get on to come home was canceled. But she is on a flight now I believe and will hope to be home really early this morning according to what the weather does.

And now, I don't believe I have anything else that is currently on my mind to write down. So do your doings, click the follow button, leave love and comments, loves.

Oh, and if I don't get back to you, enjoy your Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/whatever else you may celebrate. Appreciate your gifts and blessing, eat mass consumptions of food, share warm feelings with family and friends, and try to stay warm. I hate it when my friends get hypothermia.
And remember, He is the reason for the season. :)

-Emi

OH EM FISH.

Tomorrow's Tuesday. Might as well get a head start. This here video, is my brother (Joe J.) on the drums playing to "My Sweet Coma" which his band wrote. They're not published or anything, just good. Just a taste of my family's musical talent. And I'm well on the same path. I just put it here for your viewing pleasure.

Now to other matters.

The Christmas party, that I talked about in my last post, was really dull and more like work than a party for me. The woman around my age waited tables, although the only food selection was a baked potato, salad, some meat, and peas. Which we gave them the whole thing any way, poured their waters, and worked in a kitchen which it's max capacity was probably 10. It was almost like taking a brick, walking 50 yards with it, setting it down, and going to get another brick until I got my break to eat my dinner. It wasn't tiring persay, it just got old particularly fast. Afterward, there was some sort of program with some historical insight which I played a number with my family for. I was accompanying (and singing because it was so basic) Go Tell It On The Mountain with my guitar. The reason I find that selection particularly humorous, is that it wasn't written until about 20 years later, after our skit of sorts actually happened. As in, there was no way that skit would've been able to be played then. What I'm saying is that they needed to do more research about it all.

On other parts of life, I'm being pretty ambitious in my school work this year, and if I continue at this rate, I might be done by April. That is, if I don't slack off like I have previously. Woot woot. And instead of slacking, I'd probably take two (or so) more freshman courses and complete them by the true end of the semester. Which is obviously quite exciting.

My mom left for a funeral for a childhood friend this week as well and will be back tomorrow. I miss her a lot.

And man, Christmas? This Saturday? It's so surreal.

Anyway, that's about it. Talk to you laterishmaybesoish?

-Emi

Tuesday's Gone.....

Did Tuesday pass already? Man I'm terrible at this thing XD

I'll bet no one was keeping track anyway.

Well, last week was just very long, but I can't believe it's only 9 more days until Christmas at this point! It's really insane how close it's getting. In my mind, it's still October obviously, other then the fact that, yes, I have been sick due to this darn winter season. Sad face indeed.

Although, this year needs to end. I feel like I've been 13 forever, and this year has just been this huge struggle, but a life lesson that I needed to learn. In fact, I do believe that I'm a better person.

Hopefully, next year will come with more opportunities, more happiness, more motivation for my lazy self, and less snow! XD

I'm pretty sure an older brother of mine has been 17 for 3 years as well.

Anyway, tonight is a Christmas party for my church which I'm not really looking forward to. The costumes are so drab. I mean, I usually love wearing santa hats, and bells are pretty legit, but it's going back to pioneer Christmas which I couldn't find more distasteful.

Anyway, I do have to get ready for that as of now.

Much love to everyone! And good luck getting the last of that Christmas shopping done as well!

-Emi

Greetings

Dear reader,

12/7/10

Hey you. Yes you. You are one of few people who actually see this. So go ahead and throw a party or whatever it is you humans do when you feel special. I am new here as you may have noticed and just thought that I would let my feelings out to those select few who see this. To briefly introduce myself, my name is Genevieve. I live in the outskirts of a town with less than 5,000 people. I'm very different from the people here, due to the fact that I've actually lived other places in my life, as opposed to most people here who have grown up here and have never been more than 200 miles from home. Although I'm only 13 years old at the moment, I believe that I have been through a lot. I've won a lot and I've lost a lot. All I can say about that is what didn't kill me made me stronger. I continue my life's adventures with my wonderful, and numerous, friends and family. I'm not quite sure what I'm here for, but probably to vent things out and get my ideas down on paper. My pastimes include writing, playing numerous instruments, theater, stapling jello to trees, throwing blueberries at fellow pedestrians, killing blue zombies (only the blue ones of course), making beastly frozen dinners, dissing Twilight, wearing multi-colored wigs, sampling drink mixtures from ketchup tins, and you know, creating whatever chaos hasn't been created yet. As of now, my best friends are my cousin Anna, and my "wife" Kaitie. I feel as though I can always open up to them and that they are always there for me. I would love to meet anyone new as well, so if you're reading this and enjoy it, please contact me and maybe stuff will happen. Stuffy stuff fluff kind of stuff :)

A few more things about me.

1) I do have a lot to say. Out of habit, I feel as though I have to say so much that you can understand my situation better and know how I feel. But I'm still pro at the quiet game.

2) I am competitive and love setting goals for myself, although, I do procrastinate.

3) I can't hate things. I never have really. But jealousy? Sadly, It knows me well.

4) I'm very accepting of people and usually tolerate more than I should.

5) I'm usually that friend of yours that you still don't fully understand because of my crazy wacky side. Some people know me as this always happy, bubbly person who's really fun to be around and does the craziest things. Others probably think I have no sense of humor, fart in tune to what I'm listening to, eat glue, only talk to my cat, have a crush on my old female teachers, and when I talk, somewhere, a window breaks. Both of these are untrue. Yes, I usually am a happy person. Yes, I do have a sense of humor. No, the only reason I talk to my cat is telling her to move, not pee so much, and that's she's fat. I'm pretty abusive to her. Yes, If you get me out of my shell, I am a really fun person to be around. Kind of, I do fart. Who doesn't? But not in tune with anything. That's just absurd. No, I have a regular diet and eat regular meals like all regular people. No, I've never had a crush on a teacher. ever. In fact, I've only had crushes one 3 people in my whole 13.94 years of living. All of whom were under the age of 16, and they were all male. Thank you. And I don't think I've ever broken a window. I mean, I've broken INTO one because I was locked out of my home, but that's about the extent of that. We clear now?

6) I don't judge. Well, I have first impressions of course, but I don't follow them out. So don't judge me until you get to know me. Pretty much everyone has been wrong. And most people who actually got to know me were very surprised on their fabulous find. Those who have climbed over my wall that I've built up are my best friends.

7) I absolutely love the bands Muse and Dream Theater. It is as chocolate butter flowing through my ears. That butter has been spread by the force which has been created by those bands. Although Mike Portnoy has now left Dream Theater, the spirit carries on.

8) I school online with IDVA and I'm surprised of how many of my friends STILL don't know that. If you ask me questions about it, I will leave because it irritates me, because I get so many damn questions.

9) Texting does indeed bother me. In fact, if I'm with someone who's texting every few minutes, I will warn them to stop. If they do not heed my warning, I will get up and leave. It's happened a few times.

10) I'm very much an individual. Pretty much everything I say is my own stuff. All of my lame jokes, and random things I come up with. They're usually all mine. Not to mention, I've never met anyone who was CLOSE to my personality. Hey, I'm just trying to be an individual... Just like everyone else. Now let me throw my party and you can throw yours.

Thank you.

So, enough about me. You're probably either bored to tears, or bored past tears. I know, I know, we all hate it when I have a billion pages to say about themselves. Trust me, I could go on for 12 hours because I'm a rather complex person, but then you would probably be tempted to kill yourself if you hadn't already.

Now, if you are reading this, I wouldn't mind to hear about you. So go ahead, comment or whatever it is they do on here, let me know you're here, reading these words right now, and then continue your consumption of mass quantities of food.

Thanks for taking your time anyway.

Love, peace, and skittles for all who pet  purple ponies with the back hand of their green hairbrushes,

<3 Genevieve